Spencer F. Katt

“They did the mash, they did the monster mash,” droned the dulcet-toned Drudge as a pal told him about the ongoing attacks against Monster.com and its users. The employment Web site itself claims the attack is called “Infostealer.Monstres,” but security experts say it isnt just a vanilla hack, but rather a malware mashup that includes […]

Therell be peace in the valley for me, someday,” sang the dulcet-toned Drudge, Elvis-like. The Kitty wasnt hung over from the recent Elvis week in Memphis but instead was contemplating the aftermath of SCOs major court defeat in its ongoing Linux IP battles. “This must feel similar to the end of WWII for Linux lovers,” […]

“We all live in a yellow submarine,” brayed the Beatle-esque Baron of Babble when a gal pal told him Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen recently plunked down $12 million for his own personal 40-foot yellow submarine. “Funny, in the movie Yellow Submarine, the Beatles found the Sea of Holes, and Allen made his fortune by helping […]

“Bluejean bop a baby, bluejean bop—baby, wont you bop with Gene,” sang El Gato, channeling the late rocker Gene Vincent when a buddy told him that IBMs Blue Gene/L topped the Top 500 supercomputer list for the fourth year in a row. The Rockabilly Rumormonger was spending an extended Fourth of July holiday at the […]

/zimages/5/179103.gif “Luck be a lady tonight,” belted out the Blue-Eyed Baron of Babble as he sauntered into Connecticuts Mohegan Sun resort. The Puss, who was hitting the casino with an old childhood crony and a pocketful of dough, snickered when he noticed the “Top Gun”-themed penny slots because tonight the sky was the limit. The […]

“You say goodbye, and I say hello,” sang the Beatle-esque Baron of Babble as he pondered the contradictory tales spewing forth from Sun and Apple that stirred up the rumor mill last week. First, Sun CEO Jonathan Schwartz reportedly told attendees at a Sun event in D.C. that Apple will incorporate Suns Zettabyte File System, […]

“We all know that crap is king, give us dirty laundry,” sang the dulcet-toned Drudge, Don Henley-like, when he heard that LG had applied for a patent for an MP3-playing washer and dryer. The Katt sighed when he read the abstract of U.S. patent 20070118862, which describes a home appliance that includes an “MP3 player […]

“Sometimes filling ones own face may be of benefit to others,” read the Furballs fortune cookie as he and a crony were finishing up a feast at P.F. Changs China Bistro. “Thats pretty cryptic, even for a fortune cookie,” laughed the Lynx. “Hey, I just heard that the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation acquired 1 […]

“Star Wars, nothing but Star Wars, give me those Star Wars, dont let them end,” sang the Baron of Babble, Bill Murray-like. “Are you singing that to commemorate the 30th anniversary of the sci-fi classic Star Wars?” a fellow eWEEKer asked the Tabby. “Naw, Im singing it because of the sci-fi thats passing for tech […]

“Time can never mend the careless whispers of a good friend,” sang the George Michael-like Mouser when he heard the SEC had accused former Oracle VP Christopher Balkenhol of profiting from insider info he received from his wife, the executive assistant to Larry Ellison. Balkenhol allegedly invested in Retek and Siebel Systems after hearing from […]