Spencer F. Katt

From: spencer_katt@ziffdavis.com Sent: Monday, June 6, 2005 12:42 AM To: eWEEK readers Subject: Jumble aria; a Woodstein moment “That was just ghastly,” sniffed Spence, mimicking infamous “American Idol” judge Simon Cowell as he watched Red Hat CEO Matt Szulik belt out a tune at the Red Hat Summit in New Orleans. Szuliks serenade took place […]

From: spencer_katt@ziffdavis.com Sent: Monday, May 30, 2005 12:13 AM To: eWEEK readers Subject: Your message hair; open season on phishing; Microsoft shows colors “Im gonna sell my body,” cried the Kitty, noting the multitude of folks who have offered their persons—for a fee—as billboards on eBay. “Ill set up an auction now, offering to shave […]

From: spencer_katt@ziffdavis.com Sent: Monday, May 23, 2005 12:16 AM To: eWEEK readers Subject: Sapphire gems; zzzzzs to As “Lets see whats shaking,” cackled the Kitty as he entered San Franciscos new Moscone West, which, in contrast to earlier Moscone modules, sports an aboveground architecture that seems to scream “Earthquakes be damned.” This year, as he […]

From: spencer_katt@ziffdavis.com Sent: Monday, May 16, 2005 12:05 AM To: eWEEK readers Subject: Red Hat investments; Idetiotic demo; hold that Tiger “So reds the new blue? Sounds like they Queer Eyed Longhorn,” snickered Spence when he heard about the Red Screen of Death that Microsoft may implement in future Windows. Microsoft blogger Michael Kaplan seemed […]

From: spencer_katt@ziffdavis.com Sent: Monday, May 9, 2005 12:13 AM To: eWEEK readers Subject: Geek revival; shtick of Chambers “Wynn, schmynn,” sneered Spence, dissing Steve Wynns recently opened $2.7 billion Wynn Las Vegas resort. “Gimme my Blue Hawaii Room at Viva Las Vegas Villas any day!” The dulcet-toned Drudge crooned the “Hawaiian Wedding Song” as he […]

From: spencer_katt@ziffdavis.com Sent: Monday, May 2, 2005 12:39 AM To: eWEEK readers Subject: Muerte de Digital Lifestyles; Blowfish cracked? Viva Ututo-e “Fiesta!” Lime juice intended for his Corona squirted El Gato in the eye, but no matter, he would be celebrating Cinco de Mayo all week long. As fellow reporteros tried to navigate around his […]

From: spencer_katt@ziffdavis.com Sent: Monday, April 25, 2005 12:21 AM To: eWEEK readers Subject: Siebels Shaheen takes over; CAs Swainson takes flight; Ballmer takes to McNealy Having just recovered from the plethora of pontifical prognostications that inundated him earlier in the week, Spencer was deep into his NFL mock-draft cheat sheets when a call came in […]

From: spencer_katt@ziffdavis.com Sent: Monday, April 18, 2005 12:59 AM To: eWEEK readers Subject: Larrys space program is out of this world—as is evidence of the Retek bidding war “Ground control to Major Tom,” chanted the Mouser, attempting to mimic David Bowies baritone vocal as he listened to the spaced-out dirge “Space Oddity.” Suddenly, the Lynx […]

From: spencer_katt@ziffdavis.com Sent: Monday, April 11, 2005 12:07 AM To: eWEEK readers Subject: Katt-a-tonic withdrawal; takeovers and makeovers “Why wasnt I sober when I took my SATs?” sobbed Spencer. El Gato was inconsolable after reading a Securities and Exchange Commission filing from Hewlett-Packard that stated the company was going to award $3 million to its […]

From: spencer_katt@ziffdavis.com Sent: Monday, April 4, 2005 12:21 AM To: eWEEK readers Subject: M-A-D over patents; open question at Sun; Hurd in the boardroom “Go for it,” Spencer almost imagined Novell bigwig Jack Messman saying, Rocky Balboa-like, to the Ivan Drago-like threat of Microsofts massive patent buildup. However, the Kitty actually visualized the Novell CEO […]